Saturday, June 7, 2008

deepest.

i dont know how i am feeling or how i should be feeling right now.

i dont know why i was being accused of being a 'thief'.
why am i responsible for such names and terms for something i've never done or never will do.
and i dont understand why of all people,
it was you who accused me.
i am indeed hurt deeply.
i was never healed from the damaged you've caused earlier and now this.
what about friendship and trust?
you accused me of those nasty things that you think i had done
because i was one of the more convenient suspects from your whole list of possibilities.
i thought you'd have known me well enough to not judge me.
let alone accusing me of those stuff.

well, i might not be the richest man in singapore.
neither is my family.
and in fact, i have a man at home who doesnt do much but gamble.

but does all these make me the prime suspect of the 'crime'?

you told me you've never known me.

how great.
you never known me..
so what's all these 'starting from friends and see how things develop later' shit happening?
since you never known me, never wanted to.
i am seriously hurt.
you asked me not to ever hate you or to dislike you even by just a little.

sorry, i cant do that right now.
i've been wronged.
i've been accused of stuff i would never do, especially to you
when you know exactly how i felt towards you.

but you know what?
it's fine.
since your mind's been made up that i am the culprit.
nothing's gonna change your mind.
and i wont try to.
if you think i did those stuff,
so be it.

truth be told,
my conscience's clear.
i know, god knows i've done nothing of that sort.

i'm just extremely disappointed to know that you didnt trust me and you doubted me.
off all people,
it had to be you.

then there's another story.
god i know my saturday morning's been pretty dramatic.

anyways, to the other you.

i am sorry for my indifference and my ignorance to you a couple of hours ago.
i didnt know exactly what went through my head but i guess i was carried away by the conversation with my friends.

thank you for making your way down to wherever i was.
that made my smile a little.
it reminded me that i was infactuated by you.
thank you for the surprise and thank you for coming over.
i dont think many would do that.

you're not my rebound guy.
and i dont want you to be.

just when i realised i have started to like you,
you slipped away like sand on my fingers..

it saddening to know you're gone.
it's even saddening to know that i've lost not one but two in one morning.

can my weekend ever get better?

i quote this from histripped.blogspot.com
"no one wants to be hurt or to hurt someone who just want to be love."